Just a few days ago, football Germany was shattered by the death of its national goalkeeper, Robert Enke, who was only 32 years old. The tragedy is that he killed himself by throwing himself in front of a coming train.
After his death it came out that he had been suffering from serious depressions for more than 6 years, that in 2006 his agony had been aggravated beyond imagination by the death of his then 2 year old little daughter and that only a few days before his suicide he had refused to be taken into stationary professional care because he was afraid he would lose his second little daughter (that he and his wife had adopted half a year ago) and also his football career. Now he lost both. He lost everything.
Nobody except his wife and therapist really knew how unhappy and tortured Robert Enke was. How was it possible? Well, it is possible in a cold selfish world, where everybody only cares about themselves and do not see beyond their own nose or interest, where empathy and sympathy are just empty words.
If somebody (
anybody!!) would have shown the slightest
real interest in his emotional problems, I am sure Enke would have felt and behaved differently. But the (football) world wants heroes, it demands strong, leading personalities, people that they can admire and identify with! The (football) world doesn't allow weaknesses!
Who remembers how fast Sebastian Deisler's career ended after he started talking publicly about his depressions? Luckily for Deisler, he was strong enough to realize that football wasn't his entire life! In Enke's case, everybody keeps repeating the same clichées, how football was the only thing that gave him a sense of meaning (!!!), that it was his life elixir (!!). How sad, to have to depend on performance and professional achievements in order to feel whole, to feel liked and respected by others. The other side of the medal is, of course, that you KNOW that in this cruel and heartless world nobody will give a damn about you anymore as soon as your performance fails. So it all just adds a new fear to all the old fears that you have to live with: the fear of failing those who "love" you for who you are when you wear the mask.
The ultimate fear that everybody would let him down should he dare to take down his mask is what killed Robert Enke in the end. Will anybody really learn something from this?
Gone too soon by NBK and Tempus Fugit
Photos by Action Press
Wordarts by me
Winterlude by MagicalReality Designs
